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Last night I dreamed of a man who was building an island. He had taken sand and dirt, filled it in his truck, and was building a new, free land for people to come and live on. He had his life saved long ago, in some sort of drunk driving accident, and this was his way of redemption. I saw and walked his land, it was in Florida, and it was right next to huge houses. I decided to live there. I decided his island was going to be my new home. It made me happy.

I sit here and write, and mostly think. I sit and think what I should be doing with all these resources in the land of so much, and I come up short. There’s cars and plastics and phones and instant images, but no substance. We can instantly transmit and receive a million little ideas, but never experience. Never depth or meaning. Instead we get tiny fragments of a feeling.
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Let’s sit together, and I’ll take off the top of this white box we’re in. I’ll replace the roof with the stars and pour you a coffee with my mind.

And as we sit down and get comfortable, there’s a knock on the side door. It’s my childhood, she wants to show us something.

Our perfect universe of coffee and pudding implodes and we’re whisked away to the roof of my old elementary school. We’re both eleven and the cops will tell our parents if we get caught up here.

I should let you know now; I brought you here because I had something important to tell you. But seeing my old house from here, and hanging out with you, I’ve forgotten all about it. Let’s check on my sixth grade girlfriend. She lives a couple blocks from here.
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There is no global recession. There is no coming catastrophe, and there is no need to worry about the future. Markets are adjusting themselves and becoming more efficient. We don’t need all these people working to create what the market currently puts out.

And so, a great number of jobs are being lost that are no longer needed maintain the same output.

Is this something to be afraid of, something to worry about? Is the world going to end, are millions of people going to end up on the streets?

The answer is no, at least not because of lack. We grow food more efficiently now than ever before. There are too many houses and not enough people to fill them. There is no lack anywhere, except for the ones we arbitrarily create for ourselves.

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We went into Meijer yesterday and never talked to a single human being. Our entire shopping experience was conducted by machine checkouts and massive isles. The hugeness of the place is so intimidating and awesome at the same time. So many things in one place, so few humans to bother you about your purchases. We are in the everything you want age; we are in the future.

Everyone is overweight and lazy and wants to gamble. At the Meijer there was a machine you could buy scratch cards on. On the radio they said they wanted to have online gambling so the state could have the revenue. In the future, nobody works, they just take turns taking out massive mortgages, refinancing on pretend money and declaring bankruptcy. It works beautifully and everybody’s happy and nobody loses, least of all the banks.

The banks are what make us human. The banks are what makes us breathe. The banks are our blood. We could never let them get spoiled with worries of solvency.
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I’ve stopped thinking in terms of longevity. Nothing lasts forever, nothing lasts more than a moment. I’ve started to embrace quick cycles of action, quick cycles of thought expressed and released. There’s nothing that’s ever going to be perfect, nothing that’s ever going to be good enough for myself. I can only put my head down and work. Magic happens when I lose the inner dialog, put my head down, and get to work.

There’s no such thing as permanence anymore, no time for quality. If quality is supposed to happen, it must all be absorbed within a bunch of action, focused on one thing at a time. Am I chopping wood, or am I building something that matters?
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I spent most of today thinking about all the things that are wrong in my life. I was just in a really negative mind set, focusing on all the shitty things I don’t like. I don’t know how it happened or why, but when I got some coffee, things changed. Maybe I really do have an addiction to caffeine. Because before I was miserable.

I don’t like that I’m a dramatic nerd either. I focus on things and get myself worked up emotionally for horrible reasons. When I was falling into that dark little area, I was completely aware of it, and completely incapable of doing anything to stop it.
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As the fire burns my skin, I can’t help but laugh. Abram stands there, horrified, but I feel no pain. I overcame the pain long ago, but he still worries.

Look.

What is the most important piece of your life? Is it the people you love, the things you do, or the gifts you leave behind?

What does your face look like from the inside? Is that you in there or is it me?

I met a weak selfish man named Abram two years ago. He convinced me to lie, steal, cheat, and murder. He is an empty man, a confused devil, and he brought me to god.
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